How to Practice Responding Mindfully

In general, we tend to react rather than respond when we’re stressed. It can be challenging to be mindful when we are in a ‘fight, flight or freeze’ mode. Typically, our sympathetic nervous system - which directs our stress responses tells our body to tighten, increase heart rate, sweat, etc. Those responses can also lead to more stress because we’re stressed about being stressed. This is helpful during a dangerous situation, but not helpful when we’re not in actual danger.

The good news is that due to our brain’s neuroplasticity - we can ‘rewire’ our brains to make new connections helping us to create new responses. This rewiring takes practice, compassion, and curiosity. We have a system called the parasympathetic nervous system - which helps us calm down, find grounding, and respond mindfully. We can retrain ourselves to utilize this system when we’re feeling stressed rather than fall into the sympathetic nervous system.

To begin this process of rewiring your brain, you can think of your awareness as a circle that goes from Sensations > Thoughts > Emotions > Behaviors. We start with having a sensation that could be stress, anxiety, etc. that leads us to create a story in our head about the situation. From there, emotions arise from this story which can be anger, sadness, etc. and then we begin to react or behave a certain way. These behaviors can lead us to have a short fuse with someone, speak thoughtlessly, etc. acting out of fear rather than understanding. As you can imagine this can spiral pretty quickly - so it’s important to understand how this cycle works and our responses to stress.

Instead of being on ‘autopilot’, we can hit pause in between the cycles of this circle. Hit the pause button once you recognize stress, name it, and note any emotions coming up or the story you’re creating in your head. From there take a deep breath and practice your response. You can practice the STOP method to ground yourself back down. From awareness comes a choice which leads to a mindful response.

Use these journal prompts to dive into your circle of awareness and begin pausing in between. The more that you pause, the more you will respond mindfully.